yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
