Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He shit in the fireplace
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