p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
