Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
