why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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