You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
