i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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