the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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