i can't believe i had my finger in that
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
