I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
