so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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