ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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