Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
