so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We need a shit load of segways right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
