I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
