She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
