Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
