ugly people sure do ruin things
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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