Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
