yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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