I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
