I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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