he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
