if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize