you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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