Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize