I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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