life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
