ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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