I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
