This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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