If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
