We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
