Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize