Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
