I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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