No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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