I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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