i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
