I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
