Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You're like the curious george of whores
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize