Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
