Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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