Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
