I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
