Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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