I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
