normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
