i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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