Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
