Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
