They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
