If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
