I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
