My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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