Well douche your snatch and let's go!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
