Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
