i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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