dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This house was built for laser tag.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
