I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
