WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
