I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
