hotel room ftw
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize