I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
